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In summary, use of keigo not only smoothes out bumps in interpersonal relationship by showing politeness to those involved but also acknowledges and, one can argue, perpetuate, one's place in a linguistic as well as larger social situation. In recent years, it has been observed that less keigo is in use, a reflection perhaps of what is to come for interpersonal relationships in Japanese society.
Negotiating One's Keigo Equilibrium with Someone
One can see that it makes sense to use keigo, but can one ever overuse it? Keigo is in a sense off-putting, since much emphasis is placed on creating distance and indirectness between the speaker and the referent. Socially, keigo has such a regulating effect, as it creates and maintains a social distance. But how does it handle dynamic social situations? How do people metaphorically get closer or move further apart?
As can be surmised from above, one moves closer to someone else (getting to know someone in a workplace, becoming involved in a romantic situation, for instance) by using less keigo about the action of the hearer or the speaker. The same breakdown of keigo may be reciprocated, signaling that the hearer is ready to accept breaking the keigo barrier a bit more. Such an overture may not be answered favorably, in which case the hearer will not go beyond a certain level of keigo breakdown, indicating where the formality line is drawn between the two. There, one has discovered the state of equilibrium with the person in question in the area of personal distance, i.e., the comfort zone. The formality line may be subject to negotiation between the two parties, a judgment that needs to be made at the beginning of every interaction. Such a line may vary from one situation to another. Imagine this: a worker and his superior are likely to maintain a certain corporate keigo protocol at work—it is part of professional demeanor. But when the worker goes out for a drink after a long day with the superior, he is likely to speak more directly to the superior, using less keigo. In fact the worker may understand this flexibility to mean that the supervisor is a human, caring person.
More use of keigo means higher formality. This idea can be readily understood when one considers a situation in which a child's parents call out, "Miss Hanna Patricia Thornberger, please come to the dining room." Hanna would know immediately that she is in trouble from the fact that this utterance represents a high formality situation. Analogous to this, frequent and meticulous use of keigo will impart the same effect. Further, high use of keigo can also give the sense to the hearer that he or she is treated rudely. This may sound paradoxical but it stems from the fact that careful use of keigo results in a great, unrealistic distance between the speaker and the hearer, so much so that the sense of impersonal, unfriendly detachment is created, which is then associated with rudeness.
Giving and Receiving
The idea of humbling and exalting is particularly useful in understanding expressions of giving and receiving. To describe how objects and favors are exchanged (e.g., buy someone a winter coat, write a letter of recommendation, open a door for someone), Japanese has a number of ways to show the speaker's standing relative to the participants in the situation; in fact, without using these special devices, almost all situations that involve transaction cannot be described in Japanese. This is quite different from a situation in English, in which the verb give is appropriate in all situations (e.g., The Queen gave me a medal in recognition of my service. Mr. Rogers gave the fish some food. I gave Rover my TV dinner.)
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